 |
Relationship Blog Archives
Relationship Blog posts insightful comments on the latest international news that render us taken-aback in the domain of the relationship facet of life. Relationship-Blog: Abusive-Relationship News Wilton woman recounts horrors of past abusive-relationship: October 25, 2007 by Robin Walluck
It’s been several years since Megan was able to break away from an abusive relationship with her high school sweetheart, and she’s still visibly moved. For four years she was with a man who emotionally and physically abused her. She has since married and had children but still struggles to recount the time. Megan, a Wilton resident, sat down with The Bulletin to talk about her abusive relationship, on the condition her name wouldn’t be used. “I really learned a lot from it,” Megan said of the relationship. “I was determined to not let it happen again.” Relationship Blog: Abusive Relationship News (Continued) The relationship: Megan said she and “Steve” met when they were 17 at a continuing education class in Stamford, their home town. “We both loved nature, we shared many interests, we fell deeply in love within months,” Megan said. “He hated being away from me, even for a minute. That should have been my first clue.” She and Steve spent all their time together, and it was great, Megan said. Her mother did not approve of them being so serious so young, but it didn’t matter to either Steve or Megan. Relationship Blog: Abusive Relationship News (Continued) Live In: When Megan turned 18, she and Steve moved into an apartment “where we could spend all of our time together,” she said. Months went by in relative normalcy, Megan said. They went to school at night and worked during the day. “I thought all was going well,” she said. Steve “would pick me up at work, make dinner … we spent all of our time together.” When Megan’s friends would call, Steve would try to distract her — by tickling — to get her off the phone. It worked for a while, she said, until she said to stop, she wanted to talk to her friend. “I remember him throwing something across the room, and it broke a window,” she said. He stormed out of the house, and she soon followed, to make sure he was OK. Relationship Blog: Abusive Relationship News (Continued) Jealousy: As Megan tried to keep her friends and family in her life, Steve began to repeat to her that he missed her and just wanted to be with her. At first, Megan thought Steve was just insecure and wanted to know she was going to be around. So, she said, she gave in — she didn’t go out with her friends, she stayed home with him. That wasn’t enough. “Your friends are trash. People will think you’re trash, too,” Megan recalled Steve telling her. She began believing that, ignoring everyone in her life, and keeping her family at a distance. When she tried to use the phone, it wasn’t always so easy. “‘If you pick up that phone, I will break your hands. I can promise you’ll never make another call again,’” Steve would say. Relationship Blog: Abusive Relationship News (Continued) ‘Ready to snap’: “During that same year, things escalated,” Megan said. “Steve kept me from my family.” He pitted her family against her, she said. “Those months were a blur. I couldn’t tell anyone what he was doing to me,” Megan said. “There was something inside of him that was ready to snap, and he would take me and my family with him. I was in fear for my life.” She said she would get hit for simply not looking at him or not responding to a question or statement. “He would throw me up against the refrigerator and choke me until I couldn’t breathe. Sometimes I would pray for God to take me now.” Relationship Blog: Abusive Relationship News (Continued) Possessiveness: But she knew she couldn’t give up. Her mother was battling cancer, and Megan said she had to be strong for her. Megan’s mom had been in the hospital, and Megan would visit her, although it was obvious Steve didn’t like it. He remained silent while Megan and her five brothers and sisters visited their mother in the hospital, but once news came that their mother would live, the brothers and sisters flew back home. “The physical abuse he threw at me the next two weeks hit me like a wall,” Megan said. “I hid my face from blows the best I could.” She said their neighbors called the police several times, but nothing happened. Megan didn’t say anything was wrong. “He threatened to kill me if I didn’t go along with his stories,” Megan said. Relationship Blog: Abusive Relationship News (Continued) Violence: Soon it was time for Megan’s mother to come home from the hospital, and someone would need to be with her. Megan knew in order to help her mother, she would need to leave. She packed her belongings one day, packed the car, and waited for Steve in the parking lot. “He started to push me into the apartment,” Megan said. “Someone tried to help, and Steve swung a few punches at him. Then, he dragged me into the stairwell and started to beat me there.” Megan said Steve then dragged her into his truck and sped off. Relationship Blog: Abusive Relationship News (Continued) The Final Break: “He had a loaded gun in the truck,” she said. The bullets were scattered on the seat. She thought she was going to die. Steve stopped the truck in the woods, and pushed her outside. A struggle ensued, she said. But somehow she got up and ran, never to look back. A short time later, she stopped on the curb to catch her breath. She said she knew it was over. It was true, Megan said. Steve never bothered her again. She said he must have realized how enraged he was and knew he couldn’t get Megan back. But, she said, she couldn’t be sure what the reason was. Relationship Blog: Abusive Relationship News (Continued) Advice: “Don’t confuse love with jealousy,” Megan said. She thought at the beginning when Steve wanted her to spend all her time with him, it was out of love. It wasn’t, she said. It took her about a year to begin dating again. She said she knew all men wouldn’t be like Steve, but after a four-year relationship, she needed some time. She’s now married to a “normal guy,” and wouldn’t have it any other way. “Find a man who is secure with himself” and that’s the start of a good relationship, Megan said. Dating violence is a common problem among teenagers, officials with the Domestic Violence Crisis Center have said. Relationship Blog Comment: Saying abusive relationship is like saying wet water. Relationship is not a spontaneously democratic interaction and to that extent it is bound to go corrupt with the passage of time, later if not sooner. Yeah, this is a different thing that we let this corruption come to the surface and let it be visible to the world around or not. It is a matter of our cultural level and training that how we are going to behave with each other when the warmth of fire starting the relationship turns cold. Why can't we stay without specific relationships on earth? That way we'll, in fact, be relating to more as well as more honestly to them all! We must give it a thought that, after all, why we commit to a few people around us for an entire lifetime and then abuse this relation when it starts suffocating us with its possessiveness! Can't real passion take place of emotions in our lives, replacing lifelong relationship with spontaneous interaction every moment anew? Before It Goes Irrepairably Sour! 1st Step To Stopping A Break Up... Here's What Everyday People Are Saying... Wanna have a real insight into relationship?  Just go for this beautiful relationship collection by the great relationship expert Michael Webb! I'm sure you won't repent your decision (or else you could easily ask for a refund!). I invite you to subscribe to my E-zine titled Life Coach, free of charge. This E-zine publishes insightful comments on the latest international news that render us taken-aback in the domains of various facets of life. A not-to-be-missed opportunity! Subscribe to it here: I also invite you to subscribe to my Life Blog - no need to provide your e-mail address here. This RSS feed keeps you informed about new developments taking place on this site. It also harbors 25 journal bloglets posting insightful comments on the latest international news that render us taken-aback in the domains of various facets of life. In order to subscribe to the blog, right-click on the orange RSS button (see buttons up to the left) and then paste the URL into your RSS reader. Or click on add to My Yahoo! button or My MSN or Add To Google button if you keep a personalized home page there. If you are not sure what RSS or blogging is all about, click on What's an RSS Feed? here:
       
|
