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FAMILY MATTERS - Divorced parents help children by collaborating:
Wednesday, September 19, 2007 by Dennis O'Brien
In addition to managing changes in economic resources, their own emotions, social relationships and many practical realities, divorced couples face the daunting challenge of collaborating well enough to raise healthy children.
Effective communication between custodial parents, noncustodial parents and stepparents in order to agree on as many parenting issues as possible is of paramount importance so that children, who already have been wounded by divorce, will not be overwhelmed by the confusion or bitterness of the adults in their lives.
But, this isn't easy. Continuing their marital wars is the most common mistake parents make after divorce, and it is extremely damaging to children who need to have healthy relationships with both parents.
Family Blog Comment: When I was about to marry my then girl-friend who is my wife today, I proposed to her an unconditional divorce from either side in the future if anyone of us ever felt like not living with the other, without assigning any reason for it, by just shaking hands and saying 'thank you' along with 'bye' to each other.
We wouldn't even need going to the court for it, we decided.
We would still be friends and for that matter, rather friends forever, we further decided.
This freedom was the foundation of our family matters that we had to manage together in conjunction with each other, cooperating with but not subordinating the other through any protocol that this institution of marriage expected out of us.
Till date, the proposed divorce hasn't yet taken place, but we two are ready to deal with it in the most cooperative way if it ever comes in front of us.
And our kid knows this as naturally as we do!
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