Family

The Cage Congested

Psychologically, it is our family that we feel we essentially belong to.

I have no connection with you, if I do not know you and have seen you for the first time in my life.

Your joys and your sorrows do not touch me at all.

I pass by you totally oblivious of you.

You do the same with me.

We do not even wish each other.

You are not a member of my clan; nor am I, of yours!

We have lost our sensitivities for each other - we DID have them when both of us were very little kids.

Our existence did mean a lot for each other whenever and if ever we came across in life then.

No more now! We have gone too occupied with our families to sense each other without any material concern between the two of us.

We have turned insensitive.

You might try to refute me here. You could say you are very sensitive for your wife/husband or your parents, your siblings or your kids - in short, for your relationships; but the two sensitivities are very different from each other.

Rather they are opposite to each other.

My sensitivity for my family is emotional in nature.

I am bothered about my family members. I am worried about them. I feel anxious when something wrong happens to anyone of them. I feel a sense of duty toward them. In fact, I extend my identity into as well as onto them. The two merge into one.

What was my sensitivity like when I met you as a very little kid?

I was curious about you, not anxious.

I just cared for you, and wasn't bothered or worried about you.

I never felt any sense of duty toward you; what I felt was a sense of the joy of exploring you deep and wide, which didn't let me go unattached or irresponsible if need be - it turned me responsible with joy.

I just interacted with you without extending my identity either into or onto you that would have fused me one with you.

Who would I have interacted with, then?

That is what happens with the family members. We start taking them all for granted. We KNOW them a little too well to feel like exploring them any further.

Hence we stop interacting with them and start relating only.

The joy of interaction is lost. The compulsion of protocol is IN.

The attachment is in; the interaction is out.

The emotion is in; the passion is out.

We start living in a world characterized with attachments and go emotionally sensitive - anxious, worried, bothered, duty-bound and assuming.

That is what turns our passion insensitive - no curiosity, no interaction without attraction (attraction has a motif!), no caring, no joy, no responsibility and no exploring into the other just for the heck of it!

No creativity, no sensitivity, no passion, no life!

Just a robot whose buttons are there in the hands of our narrow concerns for our family that we feel to be a part of - that is what we are reduced to be!

Cut-off from the ones who do not qualify to be the part of our petty, little family!

We turn insensitive.

The more we are emotionally sensitive, the more we turn insensitive - passion wise as well as biologically.

Biologically yes, that is a fact too!

The torso drops itself down, and then squeezes itself in, in order to defend (!) us from the imaginary (not real - real one never drops it down!) onslaught of future adversity - whether emotional, physical or moral.

As the torso drops itself and then squeezes in to imprison us inside our own petty cage of our petty self, the hips get permanently pushed forward, the back gets permanently slouched, the skull gets continuously and permanently pulled down as well as in or forward - displacing the alignment of the two jaws in between themselves (whose jaws on earth are aligned properly - check your own!), by the drooping (as in academics) or the stiff (as in the army) shoulders affecting the most delicate organ or system of the body the very first, namely the eyes or the visual system - by spoiling the vision permanently - making it overt in one case, i.e., nearsightedness; and covert in the other, i.e., farsightedness (making itself apparent as the so-called old-age sight only after the age of 40 when near-reading parts company with the eye saying bye to it for the rest of the life!).

The less delicate organs or systems fall the next.

Digestion including acidity and constipation; breathing turning shallow affecting lung efficiency; blood supply including a weaker heart and the blocked arteries; hormone secretion getting disturbed resulting in diabetes and thyroid; liver, spleen and kidney spoiling their functions - all this is only the beginning of the list of the organs and the systems that go falling down one by one, and further...

None is to be spared.

Hayeesha, huyeesha, all fall down!

Is there any way out?

Out of the trap of our unhealthy ways with family as the basic building block of life!

Luckily, there always is; unless the dysfunction has already ruined the structure in itself for good - that happens very late in life, but it does happen - later if not sooner.

Shall we act sharp in time?

Haven't we done a blunder by designing the family as the basic building block of the human society?

Shouldn't humanity take a corrective measure if the design has gone wrong somewhere in the very making of it?

What can we do today?

I propose replacing family with community - the neighborhood community having a professionally run community kitchen, which will turn our dining experience tastier, cheaper, more nutritious as well as more colorful as community dining is certainly going to be a more interactive incident than only the same two or three people eating together everyday.

The more, the merrier!

The way to the heart always passes through the stomach!

The basic building block of the society is going to be the individual as such, and not family any more.

Won't this new arrangement open new vistas as far as interaction between the community members is concerned?

Won't it give a new colorful dimension to our social life - much more than our family life?

Won't this community life turn into an entertaining club all through our mornings and all through our evenings - the club of interaction, the club of knowledge acting as a full-fledged school for our kids as well, the club of all kinds of sports for us as well as for our kids, the club of cultural amalgamation, the club of arts and crafts, and the club of music and dance?

We together can afford much bigger and much better space to live a better quality of life than we individually, or with family, can!

Something like a five-star hotel where everyone has her/his private corner in one of the suites allotted to her/him - it needs more creativity than it needs money!

And the membership of the community is not going to be a fixed one for life, like in a family it is; it would keep changing with a transfer of a member's job leaving the area or an establishment of a new business by a new prospective member coming to the area.

New faces, keeping it fresh and green!

Together we can, divided we can't!

Of course, together we stand; divided we fall.

Do you feel things should change in life, on earth?

If yes, why sit passive?

Let's be in the active vanguard.

Let's try to change the world!

Even trying is its own fun in itself!

Here is The Super Mind Evolution System that claims to change your personal life, so if you feel the system is good too - like I do - it may be a humble beginning in the direction of changing the way we live!

Just watch this video to check for yourself:

Have An Interesting Story To Tell About Your Family?

A story lived by you!

Why don't you give us a chance to read it too?

After all it is a real life story!

And every real story has all the seeds of becoming a classic in itself.

People may love you for what you have written - an interesting family story of yours, or a short memoir of yours relating to your family.

The world is eagerly waiting to listen to what you have kept inside till date. Act sharp!

Click on the links below to read more family stories/memoirs:

Return from Family to Family Tree

Return to Life Sip